Life Lately: July

If you follow me on me on Twitter, you probably know that June and July have been a bit of a whirlwind for me and my health. I've decided to write this post not for the sympathy of my lovely readers, but as more of a diary entry where I can share my current thoughts and feelings, track my progress, and basically set goals for the future. 

I've not really talked about it on my blog (or anywhere for that matter), but I suffer from Joint Hypermobility Syndrome (JHS) and consequently have a lot of issues with my joints. Occasionally I have flare ups, where joints become painful and I have to take a few days off here and there to get back on track. On the day of the UK referendum (I blame you for all of this Brexit), I woke up with a lot of pain in one of my ankles. At first I thought it was one of my flare ups and decided to rest for a few days. Eventually the pain got so bad that I was having panic attacks and crying for ~75% of the day. I just couldn't cope with the pain and I wasn't even able stand up. Just the weight of even a blanket or a sock made me scream out like a banshee. My mum rang the 111 service to see what she could do, and they recommended I go straight to A&E. I was seen almost immediately and given some prescription-strength painkillers to help reduce the pain, and told to come back in a few days if there were no improvement.

I left another week in the hopes that it would all just go away and I'd be back doing burpees and dancing erratically to Taylor Swift before I knew it, but in the end I had to go back as I was still in unbearable pain. I'd been taking a combination of all the painkillers known to man, with doses big enough to knock me out for a few hours but nothing even touched the pain. I had an X-Ray to see if I'd broken something, but the scan came back fine. The doctor (James the bae), said he was stumped and didn't really know what was causing all the swelling and pain in my ankle. He gave me some more painkillers and sent me home to try and walk on it more and more. He said that the Codeine should numb the pain, however in the 2 weeks I had been taking the Codeine, I'd had every other side effect on the information leaflet (including the rare ones) except the desired pain relief. I felt sick ALL THE TIME, I kept fainting, I wasn't sleeping, I wasn't eating, and I lost over a stone (15lbs/6.8kilos) - ALL IN THE SPACE OF TWO WEEKS. At this point I decided to stop taking the medicine as it was doing way more harm than good. 

The following day I received a letter in the post saying my X-Ray had been reexamined and I needed to go back to the hospital. I got really excited thinking that they'd found a crack or something, and I'd be sent home in a cast and it would heal and all would be fine. But as soon as I saw the doctor I could see it was more serious than I'd thought. After 3 weeks I was given the diagnosis of a Talar Osteochondral Defect. Essentially I had chipped the main bone in my ankle at some point or another and the joint space had been continuously filling with water and God knows what else for quite some time. I had a blood test (complete with the worlds biggest panic attack) and It showed I was perfectly healthy, with zero signs of infection. The doctor decided to refer me to an orthopaedic specialist, gave me some crutches and a walking boot, and sent me home.

Four weeks to the day since the pain started and my orthopaedics appointment rolled around. The doctor (who was an actual psycho btw) started the appointment by shouting at me for being referred to the wrong clinic. He then proceeded to tell me that this was a life-long condition that would never go away. At this point I burst out into tears because I took that he meant I would never be able to walk again, but my mum  later reassured me he simply meant the damage to the bone was permanent (#phew). He told me I would need weekly physiotherapy appointments for the rest of my life and referred me to Radiology to have an MRI scan. On the day I'm writing this (the date of publishing), I have just received my appointment for my MRI scan, and the amount of information that came in the envelope was daunting. I'm not bothered about having the actual scan as I've learnt about them at uni and I know that they are completely painless. I'm more worried about the actual results, because if the scan shows that the bone fragments have collapsed into the joint space, I will need surgery to clean it out otherwise I would go on to develop arthritis in my ankle. My anxiety has been through the roof, and the thought of needing surgery makes me physically sick. I don't cope very well with even dentist checkups, so the idea of being admitted into a hospital makes me want to curl up into a ball and go to sleep forever.

Despite everything that's going on I've remained quite positive with only the occasional emotional breakdown. The pain has reduced dramatically, and I've started my physiotherapy which is making me feel a lot better in myself. I've been given lots of exercises to improve the mobility of my ankle, and the physiotherapist showed me how to walk up and down stairs safely with my crutches so I don't need to crawl as much anymore. Since my first appointment, I've been able to bend my ankle into more of a standing position, bear some weight on it, and even take a few steps. I'm really hoping that I will continue to progress at the same rate as these last couple of days. Before my orthopaedics appointment I was worried that I wouldn't be able to return to university in September, and was thinking through all the worst possible scenarios in my head. At this point I would like to set myself a few goals for the month ahead; by the start of August I plan to be the same as I am now whilst relying on one crutch as opposed to two. By September I hope to be off crutches for the majority of my day, and by the time I go back to university I hope to be able to drive and walk as normal. I'm not expecting to be able to walk long distances, or do all the things that I would usually do - but I am hoping I will be able to at least commute to and from university every day. 

I remain optimistic, although I do realise that my goals may be completely unachievable. My friends and family have been incredibly supportive over the last few weeks, and one of my friends has even offered to let me live-in at her house on the days that I have lectures, so she can help me travel in and it not be as far to get there. It's times like these when you really do realise how much people care for you, and my friends and family would well and truly do anything to make my life even the slightest bit easier. I will probably continue to share little updates of my progress over the coming months, so apologies if you really didn't like this post, but I'd rather it wasn't happening for me to write about too. I promise I won't go into overkill, but the progress I'm starting to make is more exciting than anything else in my life to date. After not being able to stand up for 4 weeks, I see it as being reborn and being able to watch myself grow up and take my first steps in the world.  

Thank you for reading and for your continuous support during this moment in my life. 

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Life Lately

I've probably said this well over a hundred times, and so far, every time I've said it I haven't been true to my word. I keep saying that my posts will be up and running soon, but soon never seems to arrive. The odd scheduled post goes up, but my schedule is well and truly shot. I am writing this on the day of publishing, and at this moment in time, I have a billion other things that I should be doing - instead I'm writing this blog post to tell you about all the things I should be doing. I have work placement for the next four weeks, and with a 9-5 schedule as well as my university deadlines, I am exhausted to say the least. I think hectic is a bit of an understatement, but my life is absolutely crazy at the minute. I've been trying to put myself and my academic work first, and to some extent I feel 'happy'. I thought life would have quietened down by now, but again I have been proved well and truly wrong. I have one assignment deadline left to meet, and until then blogging is going to be taking a back seat. 

I'm currently five weeks away from finishing my second year at university (scary right?), and besides wondering how I've got this far, the pressure seems to be piling up. Over the next few weeks I have to submit a proposal for my major research project (aka my version of a dissertation), and above anything else - I have to think about what I want to do when I graduate. GRADUATE. I know what I want to do in life, and roughly what I need to do in order to get there, but where it all falls down is the fact that it all relies on how well I do now. This morning I got a pretty bad result on one of my assignments, not terrible (it was a 2:2 FYI) - but significantly worse than my lowest grade this year. I spent four whole weeks writing that essay pretty much 24/7, and to almost be told that it was rubbish is absolutely soul crushing. 

I may or may not be posting over the next couple of weeks, but believe me when I say that it is not because I have forgotten. I am well aware that posts aren't going up and comments aren't being replied to. But currently there physically aren't enough hours in the day to get everything done. Who even needs sleep nowadays? I hope that you will stick around because I have quite a few ideas planned, all I need is the time to sit down and make the plans a reality. Come June, university will be over and I will have 6 months of freedom to get up to speed before returning in late September. Until then I will most likely be non-existent here on Charlotte Sophia Roberts. Apologies for this, but I consider the rest of my life more important than a hobby I have enjoyed for the last two years. 

As always, thank you for reading and I hope to see you soon!

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Interiors: Dreamy Workspaces

(Images sourced via Pinterest)

Over the last couple of weeks I've really been getting into using Pinterest. I've had an account for years but never really understood the hype - now I use it for everything! One thing I've been using it for is for crushing on peoples houses and interior designs (like the ones pictured above), so when WeWork got in touch to ask if I'd like to share my dream workspace with you all, I was happy to get involved!

At the moment, I don't have a workspace or even a desk for that matter. I've just moved out of my first year university accommodation and decided I wanted to commute for the next year just to see how it goes. But this means that I've been left without a desk! Although at some point over the next few years, I'd really like to get my own flat/house and decorate it - and in order to this I've been seeking some inspiration.

I'm a true fan of simple, minimalistic style in all it's forms (from fashion to decor) and I love to stay organised so having plenty of storage is key. If I were to decorate my dream office, it would be painted in a nice neutral colour and offset with white furniture and plenty of accessories. My desk would be white with a complimentary chair in the same colour. My laptop or computer would be the main feature on my desk and around it I would fill my space with plants and flowers, trinkets, a cute lamp and simple art prints. Depending on the amount of space available, I would put up a few floating shelves to create extra storage and use them to prop up photos of friends and family. 

Out of interest, how would you decorate your dream office?

Thanks for reading!

Love Charlotte x
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Choose Happy

Happiness is a choice. You have to choose to be happy. For every minute you are sad or upset,  you lose a minute of being happy.  Be happy.  Be yourself.  If others don’t like it, then let them be.  Life isn’t about pleasing everybody.

If you have the courage to admit when you’re scared, the ability to laugh even as you cry, the nerve to speak up, even if your voice is shaking, the confidence to ask for help when you need it, and the wisdom to take it when it’s offered, then you have everything you need to get yourself to a happier state of mind.

Begin today by taking responsibility for your own contentment.  Here are ten ways to choose happiness:

Choose to be the best you can be. – When I was in college, this was sort of a motto for my head of year. He'd say it at the start of every day, put it on all his power points and just tell us that this is what we should aim for in life. Give everything to whatever you do, commit to your goals, and don’t compare yourself to anyone else.  "Success and happiness is peace of mind, which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you made the effort to do your best to become the best that you are capable of becoming.”  Never try to be better than anyone else, but never stop trying to be the best you can be. 

Choose to be around the right people. – Spend time with nice people who are smart, driven and likeminded.  Relationships should help you, not hurt you.  Surround yourself with people who reflect the person you want to be.  Choose friends who you are proud to know, people you admire, who love and respect you – people who make your day a little brighter simply by being in it.  Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you.  Say goodbye and move on. Believe me, I've done my fair share of this. 

Choose to focus on what you have, not on what you want. – When you appreciate what you have, what you have appreciates in value.  Being grateful for the good that is already  in your life will bring you a deeper sense of happiness.  And that’s without having to go out and buy or acquire anything new (says the girl who wants to own everything).  It makes sense.  You will have a hard time ever being happy if you aren’t thankful for what you already have

Choose a good attitude. – What often screws us up the most in life is the picture in our head of how it’s supposed to be.  And the reason so many of us give up is because we tend to look at how far we still have to go, instead of how far we have come.  Remember, life is a journey, not a destination.  This moment, like every moment, is a priceless gift and an opportunity.  Be positive, smile, and make it count.  Pretend today is going to be great.  Do so, and it will be.  Research shows that although we think that we act because of the way we feel, in fact, we often feel because of the way we act.  A great attitude always leads to great experiences

Choose to smile more often. – A smile is a choice, not a miracle.  Don’t wait for people to smile. Show them how.  A genuine smile makes you and everyone around you feel better.  The simple act of smiling sends a message to your brain that you’re happy.  And when you’re happy, your body pumps out all kinds of feel-good hormones.  Every year I make a new years resolution to smile more. Every year I work towards by resolution. So by the time I'm 30 I should be a walking, talking happy emoji. 

Choose honesty. – Start being honest with yourself and everyone else.  Don’t cheat.  Be faithful.  Be kind.  Do the right thing!  It is a less complicated way to live. Don’t get involved with drama that doesn’t affect you and your way of life.

Choose to help others when you’re able. – Care about people.  In life, you get what you put in.  When you make a positive impact in someone else’s life, you also make a positive impact in your own life.  Do something that’s greater than you – something that helps someone else to be happy or to suffer less. KARMA.

Choose to embrace the next step in your life. – You can hold on to the past, or you can create your own happiness in the present.  Never let success get to your head and never let failure get to your heart.  Every day is a new beginning and a new ending. A new story.  Make the best of it, smile, and keep looking straight ahead with your head held high.  And don’t forget, a smile doesn’t always mean a person is happy right now; sometimes it simply means they are strong enough to face their problems going forward. 

And remember, your mind is your private sanctuary; do not allow the negative beliefs of others to occupy it.  Your skin is your barrier; do not allow others to get under it.  Take control of your boundaries and what you allow yourself to absorb from others.

You are the only one who can create your happiness. The choice is yours.  Choose to be happy.

Thanks for reading!

Love Charlotte x

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Running A Blog Whilst At University

When I first started blogging, I had all the time in the world. No school, no college, no uni, no job - nothing. Nothing there to fill my day-to-day life. I could finally start my blog because I finally had enough time on my hands to get it up and running. Now I am a full time university student with deadlines, commitments and a bustling/hectic life. At times, this can get in the way of my precious blog, but as time goes on I am getting continually better at managing my time effectively.

On my desk at university, I have a weekly planner/schedule that I bought from Paperchase. It has every day of the week in a handy table, with enough room for you to write out important events and things you need to remember for each day. Sort of like a calendar. But a more short term and planned out calendar.  Besides this, I also have a yearly calendar that I printed out. This helps me plan when I am going to post new blogposts and keep track of whats going out when. This is incredibly useful for those of you who like to schedule your blog posts in advance. 

To make sure I get all my work done I make regular To-Do Lists which help me stay on track of my tasks and guarantee that I am organised, productive and manage my time effectively.

For on-the-go ideas, I make sure I carry a notepad and a pen in my handbag at all times - just incase an apple falls on my head and gives me a great idea.

Along with the notepad, you will never find me without my iPhone. Long are the days since you have to carry a massive File-O-Fax around everywhere. Nowadays your phone can store every single piece of important information you  will ever need. With all these handy apps to help you with your time management, you will never be late again!

Thanks for reading!

Love Charlotte x
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Fashion and Beauty Essentials and How To Pack Them - Guest Post #1

If you are anything like me, you have an itch to travel and do so as often as possible. The upsides are many: getting to know all these amazing cultures, taste different foods and drinks and meet some awesome people along the way. The downsides exist as well – there’s jet leg, being exhausted and sticky immediately after you arrive at your destination and, of course, that terrible question: what to pack? Depending on the time of year you will do the traveling, your destination and how long you’re going to stay at your destination, you will pack what you think you will need the most (and some extras too, probably). I am here to share my experience with you and give you a few tips and tricks I’ve picked up on my travels so far.

(source)

Beauty on the go!
Before you start packing, make a list of things you will need on your trip. It’s important to take with you things you need to use every day and you don’t want to buy once you reach your destination. Pack your morning and evening products first: toothbrush, toothpaste, razor, makeup remover wipes, face wash, shampoo, conditioner, body lotion, etc. After you pack all that, you can add a bag for all your makeup and different brushes you are using. My advice is not to pack too much makeup- you might think you will need a lot, but you most probably won’t use more than you use every day. Aside from my foundation, setting powder, mascara and a blusher, I also like taking an eye liner, a bronzer, a few bright lipsticks and a neutral eye shadow pallet, the Urban Decay Naked 3 being my favourite!

(source)

What clothes should I pack?

For many of my first trips I’ve overpacked and regretted it many times. I would take 15 different dresses, three pairs of shoes, four pairs of jeans and a dozen tops with me on a 6 day trip. Crazy, right? So, after a while I decided to pack only things which go well with each other and which can give different looks when combined. Four tops and four bottoms can give you 16 different looks if you pair them up well. I most often follow the 5,4,3,2,1 rule: 5 tops, 4 bottoms (at least one skirt), 3 accessories, 2 pairs of shoes (flats are a must-have in my suitcase). Again, depending on where I’m going I’ll probably pack some extras. Sometimes it will be a bikini and colourful kaftans for the beach and sometimes it will be a fancy blazer to help me look more professional.

Creaseless beauty

Folding can cause your clothes to wrinkle; rather carefully roll them up. This way they will take up less space in your suitcase and will not be wrinkled (too much) when you reach your destination. I also suggest you put the tops and dresses on top of your suitcase because that way the heavier things such as jeans and makeup bags won’t squash them. If you’re feeling fancy, you can also check out packing cubes – I’ve heard they are awesome, but I haven’t tried them yet. If you do, let me know what you think!

As you can see, it’s not so difficult to pack lightly and still have all your essentials with you. Thing to remember for your next trip: if you didn’t use an item on your last trip, you shouldn’t take it with you on your next one. Good luck and bon voyage!

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A big thanks to Remi Mayer for writing this great post. 
She kindly contacted me asking if she could write a guest post for my blog so she could gain some experience in writing. She was even fabulous enough to source images and link products that she loves which was a great help for me. 

You can check out her Twitter here, and please make sure that you give her some well deserved feedback. 

If anybody else is interested in writing for my blog, you can contact me by email. 

Thank you!

Love Charlotte x


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