A Reflection: 2016

Well, we did it! We made it through yet another year. And keeping with tradition, I'd like to take this opportunity to reflect on the passing year. 2016, for me, was one of those years where everything unexpected seemed to happen. Where every time I made a plan or set myself a goal, something decided to come along and ruin it. All in all, I'm pretty happy with how 2016 turned out, but it was a really tough year for many reasons so I'm pretty glad to be seeing the back of it. 

As you will probably know, 2016 was a big year for my health. I was diagnosed with osteoarthritis in my ankle and have been in constant pain for the last 6 months. I spent the year being prodded and poked by numerous doctors. Having scans, x-rays, and blood tests. Along with weekly physiotherapy sessions that leave me feeling exhausted and achy. Obviously, like any right-minded person, I would have liked to be in perfect health for my entire life, but clearly things weren't meant to be. And, although I would do anything to wish the pain away, or to be able to do anything a normal 20 year old can do, I am thankful for what has come out of this bad situation. 

Surprisingly it has done wonders for my mental health. It has allowed me to focus on the smaller things that most people take for granted (like walking to the kitchen to make a cuppa), and concentrate on the things in life I do have and not what I don't (the Gucci Soho Disco bag for instance). And, although other people may not be able to notice a change in me, I certainly can. I am so much happier than I was this time last year, and I feel so much more confident in myself. 

This change allowed me to do something that shocked even me. I've never been happy with my weight, and it's something I'm really self-conscious about. So joining Slimming World in October was a really big deal for me. And although it's pretty pricey, investing more in myself has been one of the best things I have done in my entire life. I've lost around 1½st (9.5kg) so far, and I've gained a bucketful of confidence along the way. I'm currently at my lowest weight in years, and I couldn't be happier. 

2016 was also the year that I was unsuccessful with my teacher training application. Being a teacher is something I have dreamed of my whole life, and having to put my dream on hold is daunting. 2017 is going to be the year of big changes for me. And even though it's only the beginning of January I am both excited and terrified of what it's going to bring. My year is not at all planned, and is definitely going to be a year of me 'going with the flow'. 

2017 is the year that I graduate from university with a degree in Psychology. The year that, after 17 straight years of education, I am no longer a student. 2017 is the year that I leave education and enter the "real world" and get a "proper job". And 2017 is the year that I turn 21 years of age.

So I am excited to see what 2017 brings me, and I hope that it brings you as much happiness as you deserve.

How did your 2016 go, and how do you feel about 2017?

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What's Going On: An Update

In all honesty, I haven't written a post since August. Not out of laziness or lack of effort, or anything like that. I've just been too busy. I'd scheduled quite a few posts to go up as I knew that I wouldn't have much time to rave about my latest purchases, or tell you what lipstick I probably haven't worn all that much - but those are fast running out and I am now in my final year of university finding it very difficult to get things done. Finding the time to go do simple things like going to the post office, catching up with friends, or even loading the dishwasher is becoming increasingly difficult. The last three months or so have gone by incredibly fast, and I can tell how long it's been since I last sat and wrote to you as the Blogger platform has had a bit of a makeover whilst I've been absent. So I thought I'd write you a little somethin' to let you know that I'm still alive (barely). 

Since we last spoke properly, I've had an MRI scan. I've been diagnosed with this, that, and the other.  I've cried. I've made some big lifestyle changes. I've had meltdowns. I've paused and resumed physiotherapy. I've started ankle classes to strengthen the muscles around my ankles. I've had interviews. I've applied for teacher training. I've got rejected from teacher training. I've lost a stone. I've driven to remote locations and just sat screaming where no-one could hear me. I've bought more clothes than I should have done. But most importantly, I've found some happiness in the chaos that is my life. 

My chaotic life is being somewhat dominated by assignments at the moment. I'm just starting my equivalent of a dissertation, and almost 99% of my time is spent reading journal articles and textbooks. Listening to podcasts, and watching TED Talks from people that lecturers tell me are important. At the moment one of my main priorities is finding participants to take part in my research study. Which I thought would be a lot easier than it is. So if you're a student willing to fill out a couple of questionnaires for my research study that will take no longer than 15-20 minutes please get in touch by leaving me a comment/email/tweet! Or if you know anyone that would be willing to help me out - send them my way! I BEG YOU. 

What's happened in your life recently?

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Back To University Goals Revisited

I can't believe I'm actually saying this, but tomorrow I start my final year of university. MY FINAL YEAR! I really don't know where the time has gone, and I just know this year is going to go just as fast, if not faster than the previous two years combined. This time last year I set myself a few goals for what I wanted to achieve over my second year, and seeing as I start back tomorrow I thought this be the perfect time to reflect on my progress and set myself some more goals for the year ahead. Last year the majority of my goals focused around being more prepared for assignments, and not spending all my money on ASOS. I can honestly say that I achieved all of last years goals (even if I wasn't as successful with the ASOS one); I started all my assignments in good time, I started revising for my exams months in advance, and I looked a lot less homeless and didn't turn up to any of my lecturers with sopping wet hair. As for this year, I want to set some serious goals because the level of my success determines whether I graduate with a First or with a 2:1. 

Keep organised // I mentioned last year that I wanted to be more organised and I'd really like to carry this through into this year. It's amazing how more productive you can be if you actually know what you're supposed to be doing. I've repurchased the Busy B academic diary, and I'm ridiculously excited to write in all my assignments and things as it helped keep me nice and organised last year! 

Take breaks // Remember at the start of this year when I took a break from blogging? Well that was all due to the stress caused from my first semester back last year. As the year went on I found ways to cope with my stress, and I've learnt the hard way that it is important to take regular breaks. I need to remember this for the year ahead as I have a feeling that this is going to be the most stressful year of my life! #bringiton

Remember the end goal // Since I was first introduced to the idea of going to university I have wanted to graduate with a First class degree. I managed to get through first year with a good 2:1 without even trying (ok there was some trying), and last year I averaged at 68.5% which was 4% higher than the year before. As long as I try my hardest this year and pull out all the stops, I am in with a serious chance of scraping through university with a First class honours degree!

Statistics // Last year I developed some sort of crazy understanding of statistics and it made my life so much easier (hello 95% in my statistics exam)! I hope to be able to keep this up because I'll need that knowledge for my major research project!! So my plan is to keep on top of all my recommended reading because I have definitely noticed the benefits to actually doing it. 

Eat well & exercise // My university geniusly added a Starbucks near the main entrance last year, and sometimes it was just too hard to resist a venti hot chocolate with cream. And although I usually workout most mornings before uni, I felt quite guilty for the amount of times I got a Starbucks just for the sake of getting one. So for this year I plan to carry on exercising regularly (once my ankle permits obvs), and to maybe get back on track with my 'diet'. 

Have you got any goals for the year ahead?

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Learning To Be More Independent

“I am no bird; and no net ensnares me: I am a free human being with an independent will” - Charlotte Brontë

Independence. Something we crave more and more as we grow older, but something little of us know how to actually achieve. I don't consider myself totally independent, but I do believe that I have the ability provide and look after myself. I wouldn't say that I felt independent until I started university in 2014. Up until that point I completely relied on my mum. Living in a rural village with no transport links, I relied on her to take me everywhere. And I mean everywhere. Moving to a university just outside of the bustling city centre, I suddenly had the ability to go anywhere I wanted - at any time. So here I am offering my advice on how to become a little more independent. 

Learn to drive // This ones a bit of a biggie, although I realise it isn't for everyone. Learning to drive has played a massive role in my quest to become more independent. I passed my driving test (first time woo) when I was 17, and it took me ages to save up and be in the position to afford my own car. I was able to purchase my little car around a week before my 19th birthday and I honestly don't know how I survived without one. I now have the ability to go anywhere I want when I want, and it has made my life so much easier - even if I'm always the designated driver. 

Master transportation // If driving isn't for you, I would advise mastering some form of public transportation - either buses or trains. I hate buses with a passion and I am terrible when it comes to getting on them. Knowing which bus to get on, how to buy a ticket, and where to get off - I just struggle with it completely. But trains. I am the master of trains. I know Leeds train station like the back of my hand and I know what trains come in at what time, what time they leave. I know which trains are the busiest, the length of each journey, and pretty much everything there is to know about commuting via train. 

Get a job // I don't have a job at the moment (plz someone hire me), but I do my fair amount of volunteer work. I have volunteered in a high school for a year, and it is amazing how much independence it brings you. A job gives you valuable work experience, and a steady income allowing you to save up for the bigger things in life. Driving lessons? A car? A flat? All of which give you independence! 

Manage your money // This one links in with the point above, as it means you will be able to develop a sense of financial independence. Can you really afford that ASOS haul?, is that perfume going to push you into your overdraft? Set a budget and stick to it! Put any spare money into a savings account and save towards something special! My savings account is currently dedicated towards saving up for a house/flat deposit - I know I have nowhere near enough at the moment, but every penny helps!

Learn to cook // Do you really think successful business people eat takeaways and ready meals every day? No. Learning to cook puts you in control of what goes into your body. Buy a recipe book and try whipping up a few meals. You might enjoy yourself, and you will almost certainly enjoy the food you make!

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Finding The Right Diary

As all of my fellow organisational freaks will know, it's extrememly hard to find a diary that completely works for you. After years of hunting down the perfect planner, I finally found it last year. The design wasn't pretty, but the inside was perfect and was the best practical choice for what I wanted to use it for. This year, I got there earlier and managed to get my hands on the same diary, with a much prettier design. For those wanting to get your hands on this particular diary (I mean come on, it's gorgeous) it's the Busy B Academic Diary. They have a couple of different designs, and even have family diaries and planners (amongst much more) if you're in the market for any of those.  

           

For many, diaries are a life saving tool when it comes to making sure we have everything done, or getting ourselves to the right place at the right time. Whether it's handing in assignments, remembering doctors appointments, or even just for seeing when someone's birthday is coming up - a diary can play a fundamental part in the running of day to day life. I love this particular diary as it cleverly has each week printed twice over adjacent pages, allowing you to combine two different schedules, and manage your life more effectively. Personally, I use one for side for university and the other side for life in general (appointments, birthdays, etc). Being able to balance two lives at once is an absolute lifesaver, and means I know exactly what needs to be done and when. I especially love how there is a memo section down the side of each page, so you can write a mini to-do list of all the things you want to achieve over the space of the week. The Busy B diary runs from August-August (13 months) so is perfect for students and those looking for a more academic diary. 

Between rushing to lectures, making sure assignments are submitted on time, and managing everyday tasks, it can be easy to forget something (usually to eat, breath, sleep etc.). But I find a mid-year diary incredibly useful for keeping on top of the academic year. Many of them are slim and lightweight making them perfect for traipsing all over in your bag. In this particular diary, there is a handy little storage pocket after every quarter, for you to put receipts, reminders are whatever you want in. There are even blank timetables, contact pages, and a calendar where you can view the whole year. And what's more it has a beautiful floral patterned cover (there's also a blue spotty one if flowers aren't your thing!) and an elastic closure to keep everything secure! 

What do you look for in a diary?

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Life Lately: August

Good morning lovelies! I know it's not really been a month since my last installment, but so much has changed since I last put pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard so to speak). In my last post I mentioned that I'd had a bit of an accident (which you can read about here), and was left unable to walk (YAY). Well it's been almost 7 weeks since it started hurting, but I'm finally starting to make a bit of progress! 

Physiotherapy // I've been attending weekly physiotherapy sessions with a lovely lady called Sophie, and we've been laughing a joking about my current situation. I've had quite a few sessions with her, and she has been so impressed with my progress. In the space of a couple of weeks I've gone from being unable to touch my ankle without screaming, to being able to stand on one leg for a couple of seconds. As for crutches, I'm now mainly using one as opposed to two - so I can officially carry my own dinner through instead of having to bribe my sisters to do it for me. 

Appointments // On Wednesday I have my MRI scan (help me), and although I was really excited to have it at first, I now just wish I could not turn up. I'm terrified that they are going to find a tonne of things wrong with me, and I'm almost certain that they'll find that the bone has crumbled into the joint space so I'd have to have surgery. I've not had an MRI scan before but I'm pretty sure they'll just scan my ankle, so hopefully they won't discover I have an extra lung or a life-threatening tumour the size of Mars on my pancreas or something. 

Getting out of the house // Since we last spoke, I've left the house (other than hospital appointments etc) a couple of times. It's actually unbelievable at how not being able to leave the house drives you crazy. My dad took my sisters and I out to lunch the other week, and I went over to my grandparents for lunch last week and we had a lovely day. We picked tomatoes in the garden, had homemade scones with homemade blackcurrant and apple jam. #perfectweekend

Little things // I've noticed myself being able to do more and more as the days go by. The other day I was able to get out the bath properly without having to sit on the side and swing my legs over. The day before I was able to walk up the stairs faster because I can now do the whole 'one foot per stair' thing as long as I'm not carrying anything - otherwise I fall flat on my face. On Thursday I went out for dinner with a couple of friends and I went crutch free - it took me a good 5 minutes to walk to the table but I did so without falling!

Resuming activities // Not being able to stand up kinda put a bit of a pause on nearly all of my normal activities and the house has descended into chaos. I think my family have started to realise how many chores I actually do since I haven't been able to do them. But over the last week or so, I've started adding a couple of jobs in here and there - cooking dinner, loading the washing machine, etc. Just little silly things you take for granted!

And on a little side note, can we just appreciate the gorgeous sunflowers my friend Rosie sent me! They were flippin' beautiful! And that's all for this month! I'll give you an update when I have my scan results, but it will be weeks before I get to hear anything. Hope you are all well!

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Why It's Ok Not To Love Blogging All The Time

If you've been reading for a while, you'll know that I've only recently returned from a four month break from blogging. I'm not going to go into the reasons why as I have already discussed them here, here, and here. What I haven't discussed anywhere is my plans to quit. At the start of June, I was unsure whether or not I wanted to start back up again. Whether it was worth the hassle one goes through to put up and promote a post. I felt like I wasn't enjoying it, and when you feel like this you feel an intense pressure to start liking it again. I think it's perfectly normal to feel like this every now and again. While starting this blog has been one of the best things I've ever done, blogging isn't like a normal hobby (or career). It is all consuming and the roles of a blogger are never ending. There's always something to do whether it's writing, editing, promoting - the list is endless. Plus there's the pressure of having hundreds (and even thousands) of readers. So here are a few reasons why it's ok not to love blogging all the time (or at all). 

There will always be highs and lows // As with everything in life, there will always be highs and lows associated with blogging. And it's so easy to get caught up, focusing on the negatives. As long as there are more highs than lows you'll be fine. It's perfectly normal to go through a few rough patches, so don't worry. If you do find yourself hating it too much, it is perfectly fine to stop. Do whatever makes you happy.

Haters gonna hate // As with anything, there will always be someone that doesn't agree with you and wants to rain on your parade. Although these ugly trolls don't always rear their heads, there are a few things you can do to help. If people do try to spread negativity, block, unfollow, mute the individuals. Don't try and retaliate or stand your ground and they will eventually give up.

It's ok to say no // A lot of people find it incredibly hard to say no, and bloggers are certainly no exception. It is important to remember that the only person who has any say on what goes on with your blog, is you. Take PR for example, it's perfectly ok to reject a collaboration if you feel it isn't for you. If I'm completely honest, I've probably rejected more collaborations that I've approved. By saying no, you are giving the opportunity to another blogger who might appreciate it more.

It's ok if blogging isn't for you // Even though it seems like everyone is a blogger nowadays, blogging isn't for everyone. It takes a lot of hard work for very little in return, and a lot of people simply aren't up to the task. It can be hard to admit that you want to quit. But there is no point doing something you don't enjoy because you are too proud to quit.

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Life Lately: July

If you follow me on me on Twitter, you probably know that June and July have been a bit of a whirlwind for me and my health. I've decided to write this post not for the sympathy of my lovely readers, but as more of a diary entry where I can share my current thoughts and feelings, track my progress, and basically set goals for the future. 

I've not really talked about it on my blog (or anywhere for that matter), but I suffer from Joint Hypermobility Syndrome (JHS) and consequently have a lot of issues with my joints. Occasionally I have flare ups, where joints become painful and I have to take a few days off here and there to get back on track. On the day of the UK referendum (I blame you for all of this Brexit), I woke up with a lot of pain in one of my ankles. At first I thought it was one of my flare ups and decided to rest for a few days. Eventually the pain got so bad that I was having panic attacks and crying for ~75% of the day. I just couldn't cope with the pain and I wasn't even able stand up. Just the weight of even a blanket or a sock made me scream out like a banshee. My mum rang the 111 service to see what she could do, and they recommended I go straight to A&E. I was seen almost immediately and given some prescription-strength painkillers to help reduce the pain, and told to come back in a few days if there were no improvement.

I left another week in the hopes that it would all just go away and I'd be back doing burpees and dancing erratically to Taylor Swift before I knew it, but in the end I had to go back as I was still in unbearable pain. I'd been taking a combination of all the painkillers known to man, with doses big enough to knock me out for a few hours but nothing even touched the pain. I had an X-Ray to see if I'd broken something, but the scan came back fine. The doctor (James the bae), said he was stumped and didn't really know what was causing all the swelling and pain in my ankle. He gave me some more painkillers and sent me home to try and walk on it more and more. He said that the Codeine should numb the pain, however in the 2 weeks I had been taking the Codeine, I'd had every other side effect on the information leaflet (including the rare ones) except the desired pain relief. I felt sick ALL THE TIME, I kept fainting, I wasn't sleeping, I wasn't eating, and I lost over a stone (15lbs/6.8kilos) - ALL IN THE SPACE OF TWO WEEKS. At this point I decided to stop taking the medicine as it was doing way more harm than good. 

The following day I received a letter in the post saying my X-Ray had been reexamined and I needed to go back to the hospital. I got really excited thinking that they'd found a crack or something, and I'd be sent home in a cast and it would heal and all would be fine. But as soon as I saw the doctor I could see it was more serious than I'd thought. After 3 weeks I was given the diagnosis of a Talar Osteochondral Defect. Essentially I had chipped the main bone in my ankle at some point or another and the joint space had been continuously filling with water and God knows what else for quite some time. I had a blood test (complete with the worlds biggest panic attack) and It showed I was perfectly healthy, with zero signs of infection. The doctor decided to refer me to an orthopaedic specialist, gave me some crutches and a walking boot, and sent me home.

Four weeks to the day since the pain started and my orthopaedics appointment rolled around. The doctor (who was an actual psycho btw) started the appointment by shouting at me for being referred to the wrong clinic. He then proceeded to tell me that this was a life-long condition that would never go away. At this point I burst out into tears because I took that he meant I would never be able to walk again, but my mum  later reassured me he simply meant the damage to the bone was permanent (#phew). He told me I would need weekly physiotherapy appointments for the rest of my life and referred me to Radiology to have an MRI scan. On the day I'm writing this (the date of publishing), I have just received my appointment for my MRI scan, and the amount of information that came in the envelope was daunting. I'm not bothered about having the actual scan as I've learnt about them at uni and I know that they are completely painless. I'm more worried about the actual results, because if the scan shows that the bone fragments have collapsed into the joint space, I will need surgery to clean it out otherwise I would go on to develop arthritis in my ankle. My anxiety has been through the roof, and the thought of needing surgery makes me physically sick. I don't cope very well with even dentist checkups, so the idea of being admitted into a hospital makes me want to curl up into a ball and go to sleep forever.

Despite everything that's going on I've remained quite positive with only the occasional emotional breakdown. The pain has reduced dramatically, and I've started my physiotherapy which is making me feel a lot better in myself. I've been given lots of exercises to improve the mobility of my ankle, and the physiotherapist showed me how to walk up and down stairs safely with my crutches so I don't need to crawl as much anymore. Since my first appointment, I've been able to bend my ankle into more of a standing position, bear some weight on it, and even take a few steps. I'm really hoping that I will continue to progress at the same rate as these last couple of days. Before my orthopaedics appointment I was worried that I wouldn't be able to return to university in September, and was thinking through all the worst possible scenarios in my head. At this point I would like to set myself a few goals for the month ahead; by the start of August I plan to be the same as I am now whilst relying on one crutch as opposed to two. By September I hope to be off crutches for the majority of my day, and by the time I go back to university I hope to be able to drive and walk as normal. I'm not expecting to be able to walk long distances, or do all the things that I would usually do - but I am hoping I will be able to at least commute to and from university every day. 

I remain optimistic, although I do realise that my goals may be completely unachievable. My friends and family have been incredibly supportive over the last few weeks, and one of my friends has even offered to let me live-in at her house on the days that I have lectures, so she can help me travel in and it not be as far to get there. It's times like these when you really do realise how much people care for you, and my friends and family would well and truly do anything to make my life even the slightest bit easier. I will probably continue to share little updates of my progress over the coming months, so apologies if you really didn't like this post, but I'd rather it wasn't happening for me to write about too. I promise I won't go into overkill, but the progress I'm starting to make is more exciting than anything else in my life to date. After not being able to stand up for 4 weeks, I see it as being reborn and being able to watch myself grow up and take my first steps in the world.  

Thank you for reading and for your continuous support during this moment in my life. 

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Why It's Ok Not To Have A Job

Now that I've finished university for the summer, everyone and their mother seems to be asking me if I'm going to get a job. And they are surprised when I answer blankly - no. "But why? You have so much time on your hands now" they ask. This baffles me so much. Why is it considered socially unacceptable to have a bit of well deserved time off. I don't think people understand how stressful university actually is. There is this big stereotype that students don't do anything, and for the small minority this is true. But for the vast majority of students, university is a seemingly endless pit of fire when relaxation goes to die. I understand that there will be moments where I wish I had something to do, but for now I'm just enjoying the free time to relax and catch up on all the things I've been meaning to do for ages. 

For the last few years I have wasted my summers scouring for part time jobs, and the amount of rejections I've had are unreal. I have found, in my extensive searching, very few jobs that are consistent with a demanding academic timetable. Being told I'm 'overqualified', 'not the right person', or just 'not suitable' (how can you even be overqualified for a retail job? HOW?). Even if I did possess the necessary experience, iron-clad referees, and the qualifications, the summer jobs that were so seemingly abundant, no longer exist. And at this rate, the summer will be over by the time I get myself a summer job. So with that, I thought I'd share with you the reasons why it's ok not to have a job!

Take the time to unwind // If, like me, you're in university (or school/college) you'll know that it can be very hectic and stressful. Everyone deserves a bit of time off now and again, so enjoy it whilst you have the chance. If you want to stay in bed till 3pm - do it. You won't have the chance to do it when you have a job.

Set yourself some career goals // If you don't know what your dream career is yet, don't worry! People in their 30s and 40s still aren't sure! Spend time setting some goals and if you aren't sure what you want to do, sit and think about it logically.

Expand your skillset // It's ok not to have a job as long as you aren't sat around in your pyjamas watching the latest season of OITNB day after day. Take this free time to enhance your CV. Take a course, gain some volunteer work experience, start a hobby. What you do now will heighten your job prospects for the future, and if you are currently applying for jobs - you will have more interesting things to talk about in your interview! I recently took a course in CPR and it has gone straight onto my CV - plus it will prove useful at some point in the future I swear!

Learn something new // Similar to the above point, spend your time learning something new. You can add these onto your CV, and you may even find something that helps you destress once you have a job. Learn a new language, learn to drive - learn something that you've never had the opportunity to learn before.

What do you think, is it ok not to have a job?

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Twenty on Twenty

Today marks my twentieth birthday, and now that I am no longer a teenager (cries) I feel like I'm in a good position to look back on my twenty years to see what I've learnt.

• If you don't want or enjoy the same things as your friends that is ok. 
• Balance is always key. Always. 
• As tempting as it is, don't spend all your money on clothes and other inessentials. There are always other things that will bring you more happiness. 
• Your age does not define your abilities. 
• Live in the now, not the future or the past. 
• Always be humble and kind. 
• Comparison really is the thief of joy. Comparing yourself to someone else really will make you miserable. 
• A good night's sleep can solve almost anything. 
• Regular exercise is important and will make you feel incredible. So force yourself to do it even if you don't want to.
• You really do get to a point where you don't care what other people think. 
• It is important to make a bit of time for yourself on an everyday basis. Even if it is just a quick soak in the bath. 
• The more effort you put into something, the more you get out of it. 
• It is really easy to keep plants alive, no matter what people say. Just remember to water them. 
• Friendships come and go, it's not the worst thing in the world. 
• If you want something, ask for it. 
• Ditch the makeup wipes. A good skincare routine is essential. 
• Everyone feels scared about growing up at some point, no matter how much they might hide it. 
• Having a driving license changes everything.
• It is incredibly difficult to eat Ben and Jerry's off a plate. #firstworldproblems
• Nothing will ever be as hard as life as a teenager. Nothing.

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Two Years On: What I've Learnt

Yesterday marks my second year blogging anniversary. Whaaaaaaaat. I can't even believe I'm saying this! Two years have absolutely flown by, and there hasn't been a moment where I regretted hitting publish on that Friday afternoon. There has been the odd occasion where I've thought I'd had enough, and that I wanted to delete my blog. But then I think about what I've created, and I think why the hell would you want to delete something you've spent countless hours working on. It's funny because the other day I was sat thinking about how long ago that Friday seems, and how much I've changed over the past two years. And on Monday, the craziest thing in the world happened, and I somehow managed to hit 2000 followers. TWO THOUSAND! Madness! So in honor of these two years, I wanted to share a few tidbits and reflections. Things I’ve learned from the past two years, and what I hope to remember for the year ahead. 

1. Sometimes the best thing you can do is to take a break.
   
2. Spreadsheets are everything. How did I manage to keep myself organised over my first year? Like seriously - excel has become my best friend.
   
3. Taking fashion photos on your own is bloody hard.
   
4. HTML will always be terrifying and it's perfectly ok to pay someone to sort it out for you.
   
5. As with anything in life, blogging will always have it's ups and downs.
   
6. Blogging events are hella scary.
   
7. It's good to be different.
   
8. People don't get angry when you're late putting up a post because you've had one to many cocktails the night before.
   
9. Blogging is a hell of a lot of work.
   
10. Keep things fresh and blogging won't get boring.
    
11. If something doesn't feel right, don't do it.
    
12. It's nice to be nice.
    
13. The blogging world is a place to grow.
    
14. It's not about being the best. It's about being you.
    
15. Inspiration comes in all shapes and sizes. 

How long have you been blogging?

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How I Got Over Chronic Stress And Made Myself Happier In The Process

If you've been reading for a while, you'll know that I have just returned after some time away from blogging as I was feeling incredibly stressed, and it was starting to affect how I lived my daily life. Some of you will be sat reading this thinking that I'm a drama queen, but when you've had a constant eye twitch for the best part of 6 months, higher than normal anxiety, and difficulty concentrating on anything for longer than 5 minutes - you know you need to get your stress under control. Over the last few months I've been trying different ways to help manage stress, and I've found a few fun and easy things that have really helped to drastically reduce my stress levels and make me happier. 

Exercise // It's a well known fact that exercise is an excellent stress-management technique, and it can do wonders for your health. Over the last 6 months I've been exercising regularly, and besides actually enjoying it (surprisingly), I've found myself feeling a lot happier and more relaxed. A quick 15 minute workout in the morning leaves me feeling energetic and focused throughout the day. It has helped me set better goals and has left me feeling more productive. 

Reading // I loooooove reading. I always have a massive stack of books on my bedside table for me to read through. Infact I have just placed a little book order on Amazon this afternoon. I know it sounds cliché but reading can transport you to another world. You don't have to read fiction books, an autobiography or even a cookery book could help distract you for your everyday worries. 

Art // I've always been creative. I took creative GCSE subjects, creative A-Levels, and since then I've just abandoned my creative roots. Taking an academic degree I simply haven't had the time, but the other week I found one of my old sketchbooks and since then I have been doing a lot of quick (and some not so quick) drawings. Even if you aren't so good at drawing, with all these adult colouring books on the market there is something for everyone!

Putting the phone down // For the last few months I have been locking my phone away in a drawer for entire weekends. 48 hours without a phone glued to my hand. You'll be surprised at how relaxed you feel by Monday morning. I know some people think 2 days a week without your phone is a little drastic, but I really enjoy those 2 days. I'm not strict with myself, so if I'm going out somewhere I make sure I take my phone with me in case of an emergency, but I make a conscious effort not to sit and scroll through my social media. Try putting your phone away from a couple of hours in the weekend and see how you feel afterwards. I guarantee you'll feel better. 

Scheduling some 'me time' // I made it my New Year's Resolution to set aside 15 minutes of each day to spend some time with myself without any technology. I'll sit with a few candles lit, read a book, draw, flick through a magazine, or even write all my thoughts down on a piece of paper. Every Sunday night I set myself up for the week ahead by running a hot bath, lighting a bucket load of candles, grabbing a Lush bath bomb and relaxing in the bath with a good book. Spending a bit of time doing something I enjoy makes my day 110% better and I look forward to that moment in my day. 

Listening to music // Music can be exceptionally relaxing. It doesn't have to be whale music or anything ridiculous, just the sound of a band you love is enough to calm you down in the most stressful of moments. I love to pop my headphones in on the train or blast my radio whilst cruising down the motorway. 

Being around water // This one may sound a little stupid, but there is a reason many people like to relax by going on beach holidays, or taking a hot bath at the end of the day. Water has a very calming effect, and research has shown that it induces a meditative state. Being around water gives our brains a rest from overstimulation. Besides having a looooong relaxing bath filled with every Lush product imaginable, I've recently got back into going swimming regularly and I love how relaxed it makes me feel. I used to go swimming 3/4 times a week until I was about 14, and used to compete for a while when I was in school. I get excited when I smell the chlorine just walking towards the building from the carpark, and I look forward to it every week. I take one of my sisters with me, and we even get a cheeky donut or croissant to eat on the way home. 

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Is Blogging Becoming Less Personal?

I recently (maybe not so recently by the time I pluck up the courage to publish this post) did a poll on Twitter asking everyone what their favourite type of blog post was, and to my shock horror the least favourite type of post was 'personal'. With less than 15% of people choosing it as their favourite to read. I was completely bewildered as personal posts are my absolute favourite things to read. The ones that show real people, doing real things, and showing their real feelings. The ones where people talk about their battle with anxiety or depression, the ones where people are making a baking recipe post and they accidentally burn everything yet still write it up and laugh about it 6 months down the line. Now stop me if I get this wrong, but I think blogs are constantly becoming less and less personal with each passing day. The amount of glossy, overly Photoshopped blogs with images of 'perfect' individuals living out their 'perfect' lives. I know you're sat there thinking how hypocritical I am, with my apparently "flawless" photos and my sleek blog design - but I have always had a plain white blog, even when I started blogging in June 2014. And as for the main reason I try so hard with my photos, I started this blog after finishing my A Levels, and Photography was one of my favourite subjects. Since I wasn't doing photography at university, blogging was one of the only ways for me to keep doing what I loved. It's just what I do. I don't do it because I think you'll like it - I do it for numero uno over here. 

Long gone are the days where bloggers write purely for themselves. Documenting their lives to look back on, so they could laugh and cry at how they were feeling that one time. But with the overemphasis of SEOs, the number of likes on your latest Instagram, and the number of followers a blog has - personal bloggers are becoming more and more reader-influenced. Blogging primarily became so popular because readers wanted someone they could trust. They didn't want to see unrealistic photos, magazine style editorials, and pretty faces caked up in makeup. They wanted honest reviews and helpful advice from a real life person. Someone sat on the other side of a computer screen. And now, bloggers who are showing their raw and honest feelings and opinions are getting less and less attention with every newbie blogger who keep jumping on the blogging bandwagon.

Research has shown that bloggers are taking up to six hours drafting and redrafting their blog posts to make sure everything they write is comprehensive and as informative as possible. SIX HOURS. One of my favourite bloggers of all time, Charly from Style The Natives, only posts in the here and now. She writes what she wants to write, whatever the topic is.  She doesn't care if people reads her posts or not, writing up musings from the early hours of the morning, sharing embarrassing and drunken tales, and reflecting on personal experiences. The main reason I love her blog so much isn't for her sleek blog design or her aesthetically pleasing photos. It's her raw passion. Her love of writing. How her true thoughts and feelings come across in her posts. If you go and read, or have ever read any of her blog posts, you will know exactly what I mean. She writes as though her life is a novel. She includes all the sad 'Bridget Jones sat on the sofa with a bottle of vodka' moments, the 'I'm so happy I could cry' moments - she doesn't make everything seem like a fairytale and that's why I love her.

Enough about Charly. I just want to say that we, as a blogging community, should be more open. Remember the reasons why you started, celebrate them, write a post on them if you wish. But whatever you do, don't forget about them. Don't worry about putting a post up because you feel like you 'have to'. From this moment on, I'm going to try and follow my own advice. I used to regularly write about enjoying Sunday dinner with my best friends, our little silly jokes, and to not care as much about what other people thought. I do hope that nobody is offended by anything that I've said. I was sat wide awake in bed at 3am, writing blog posts and I was struck with this sudden thought that I just had to write about - in the here and now.

What are your thoughts? Is blogging become more of a race of popularity?
Thanks for reading!

Love Charlotte x

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The Joy Of Early Mornings

Since going back to university in September (and stupidly deciding to commute every single day), I have had my fair share of early starts. With 9am lectures, I end up having to leave the house by 7am before driving, taking two trains and then catching the university shuttle bus. And although I definitely don't consider myself a morning person at all, there is something quite nice about seeing the sun rise and all the hustle and bustle of the city center. Plus there's the well known saying "the early bird catches the worm" right? Of course there's nothing nicer than a lay in when you have nothing to do or nowhere to go, but I have surprisingly been enjoying getting up that bit earlier. So I thought I'd share with you what I'm getting out of waking up that little bit earlier (besides being on time and a better car parking space). 

You get more done

This is kind of a given thing as your days are longer, but in my 2015 reflection post I mentioned that since starting my second year of university I have had such a much better work ethic. All my assignments have been finished weeks in advance and I have a whole new outlook on life. I think all this is down to having to wake up really early, as I start the day with a mission to get things done and be proactive with my time. By starting things earlier, it means I get to finish earlier - so there is plenty of time for relaxing, and winding down before it's time to go to bed. 

You can do whatever you want

Ok... maybe not whatever you want, but if you have got up earlier than you need to you can do whatever you want to do with the time that you have. I make sure I set off in plenty of time to catch my train, and I usually end up getting to the train station about 20 minutes earlier. Before I leave I usually make a cup of tea in a little travel mug/ flask, and I use this time to properly start the day off. I'll sit in my car with a cup of tea and I'll read a book or catch up with the news - whatever I feel like doing at the time. Sometimes I'll treat myself to a muffin or some breakfast from Starbucks, and I'll just use the time to sit and watch the sunrise whilst I eat.

Peace

I'm not one for rushing around as I get really anxious and stressed out when I'm running late. But by getting everything ready the night before, I can start of my day with ease and don't have to worry about things like deciding what I want to wear or where my keys and books are. This means my mornings always start out super chilled and I'm ready to take on the day. Waking up early in the morning is nice because you get to experience the world before it has properly awoken. All the shops are still shut, the birds are chirping at the start of a new day, and there are generally a lot less people around.

Control

By dedicating time in the morning to plan out your day, you can choose exactly how your day is going to pan out. Obviously there are going to be some things that you can't control, but there are so many things that you can decide early on the day. I like to plan out my day to start off in the best way possible. I'll try and do things that I enjoy early on the day (like reading a book), so I start off in a better and happier mood. By doing this I never 'dread' the start of the day, I see it in the same way as I do getting to relax at the end of the day. 

Are you a morning person? What do you like about getting up early?

Thanks for reading!

Love Charlotte x

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